Take me Back Pwease?

Well. It's been a while hasn't it? I finally decided to try this out again, so here it goes! (If you even came back to read this I congratulate you:) Also, I decided to use gifs, to keep myself occupied.

 To start on a happy note, this is me when someone suggests they take me shopping.

Well, what should I write about to get back into blogging? I feel like there are so many emotions boiling inside me that it would a little scary to let them out!

Let's start with Trust. This has been the overall theme of the past month and a half. I don't have any wise words here, but I do have experiences:) I've been praying and listening and watching for what it looks like to to truly trust. Not a "yeah whatever" or "because I have to" trust, but a real, deep dependence on God.

Here's something I wrote in my journal a little while ago.

January 17, 2015    {Philippians 3:12-14, 20-21}
12 I don't mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. 13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. ... 20 But we are citizens of heaven, where the Lord Jesus Christ lives. And we are eagerly waiting for him to return as our Savior. 21 He will take our weak mortal bodies and change them into glorious bodies like his own, using the same power with which he will bring everything under his control.

Paul has not yet reached perfection. But he says "yet"? It seems arrogant, and yet, in reality he is trusting that God's work will be done in Him! He says- "I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for with God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us."
God has more for us. A fuller measure. He's calling out ot me, urging me to take his strength, to run with abandon and know him. 'But I can't!' I say, as I look down at my weak, tired legs. 'I cant run, much less walk. How can I do anything for you?' He reaches down to look into my eyes, with tears- they are for me. "I know your pain, and I know it hurts. But there is no way to get stronger without feeling the burn of growing- you must grow to fit my strength!" 

So often I forget the blessing I have. 

Ephesians 1:13 says- "In Him you also, having listened to the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation- having also believed, you were sealed in Him having received the Holy Spirit of promise." 

I received the Holy Spirit!! I have the living God inside of me- why does it so often feel like this bunny? 

He he... I'm giggling, are you? Deep down I know the reason why. It's all me. I'm not trusting God. There is no 'enough' here. I either trust or I don't. Right now I'm not- but oh how I want to! He is so patient, so gentle, and he loves to answer prayer. Will you join me in praying for trust? In praying for growth, so that we can fit the vastness of his strength and love? (We never will be able to really:P)

I am praying for you, that you would choose trust when the time comes.

Avery

note- I didn't re-read this, so I'm sorry if it make no sense:)