Take me Back Pwease?

Well. It's been a while hasn't it? I finally decided to try this out again, so here it goes! (If you even came back to read this I congratulate you:) Also, I decided to use gifs, to keep myself occupied.

 To start on a happy note, this is me when someone suggests they take me shopping.

Well, what should I write about to get back into blogging? I feel like there are so many emotions boiling inside me that it would a little scary to let them out!

Let's start with Trust. This has been the overall theme of the past month and a half. I don't have any wise words here, but I do have experiences:) I've been praying and listening and watching for what it looks like to to truly trust. Not a "yeah whatever" or "because I have to" trust, but a real, deep dependence on God.

Here's something I wrote in my journal a little while ago.

January 17, 2015    {Philippians 3:12-14, 20-21}
12 I don't mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. 13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. ... 20 But we are citizens of heaven, where the Lord Jesus Christ lives. And we are eagerly waiting for him to return as our Savior. 21 He will take our weak mortal bodies and change them into glorious bodies like his own, using the same power with which he will bring everything under his control.

Paul has not yet reached perfection. But he says "yet"? It seems arrogant, and yet, in reality he is trusting that God's work will be done in Him! He says- "I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for with God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us."
God has more for us. A fuller measure. He's calling out ot me, urging me to take his strength, to run with abandon and know him. 'But I can't!' I say, as I look down at my weak, tired legs. 'I cant run, much less walk. How can I do anything for you?' He reaches down to look into my eyes, with tears- they are for me. "I know your pain, and I know it hurts. But there is no way to get stronger without feeling the burn of growing- you must grow to fit my strength!" 

So often I forget the blessing I have. 

Ephesians 1:13 says- "In Him you also, having listened to the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation- having also believed, you were sealed in Him having received the Holy Spirit of promise." 

I received the Holy Spirit!! I have the living God inside of me- why does it so often feel like this bunny? 

He he... I'm giggling, are you? Deep down I know the reason why. It's all me. I'm not trusting God. There is no 'enough' here. I either trust or I don't. Right now I'm not- but oh how I want to! He is so patient, so gentle, and he loves to answer prayer. Will you join me in praying for trust? In praying for growth, so that we can fit the vastness of his strength and love? (We never will be able to really:P)

I am praying for you, that you would choose trust when the time comes.

Avery

note- I didn't re-read this, so I'm sorry if it make no sense:)

Asking To Be Filled

http://www.ellerslie.com/sermons/eric-ludy/1-8-12/incorrigibly-cheerful 

(This is a sermon that I really liked, if anyone wanted to take the time to listen to it:)

   Oh dear. Chloe reminded me earlier that I had given a sneak peak to my next post! (I forgot completely:) Probably shouldn't do that again....

So often we as Christians continually ask God to teach us to be kind, gentle, humble and whatever other godly characteristics. But rarely do we stop to think that even if we were taught these things, it would still be done in our strength! Instead of trying always to be more generous, more self-controlled (which will never work), we are to ask God to fill us up with Him! If God were to permeate the area of my life where I should be more kind, He will be the one with the kindness, not me. I wouldn't be relying on my own strength, but asking God to rule in my heart. I'm not saying that all of the sudden being good gets easier, but that this is merely a step towards full reliance on God.

This is all I was going to say, I guess I should have finished it before:) Thanks for reading this teensy baby post!

Importance of Protection

I love my Dad. I was going through some pictures the other day and found these:) 

My Dad reminded me of something I've been thinking of lately: 

The Importance of Protection

I think sometimes I get a little too comfortable. I begin to think I really do know the best, that since I'm growing up I should be able to 'handle it'. But it reality I am terribly naive about the world I live in. I do not have the wisdom an extra thirty years would give me. I need protection. As someone who hates to admit weakness, this is not a comfortable fact. I don't want to be needy. 

But I don't want to be alone. 

Thus the great problem in my life: I want to be loved and cherished, but I want to do it "all by myself"

Thing is- "all by myself" is a lonely place, a miserable and full-of-failure place. Through God's grace I'm learning that I don't deserve to be loved. He is teaching me to embrace the fact that I am needy. 

I need Him! I need wise people in my life to help guide me! My Dad has years of wisdom and guidance for me- what sane person would forget? 

(I'm insane)

Vibia Perpetua, a martyr from 203AD said this: 

'In this trial what God determines will take place. We are not in our own keeping, but in God's.' 

This may seem completely unrelated to you, but to me this makes sense:) I am in God's keeping, His protection is always with me. This does NOT mean that I should go into whatever situation saying "God's got this!" without thinking of the consequences. God gave me people in my life to point me in His direction and protect me. I should say "God's got this"- but also make choices that honor him, not throw caution to the wind. It's getting close to bedtime, so I'll have to make this short: If you're stuck in this comfortable, dangerous place- wake up! God has given you people in your life who love you and desire to help you. Learn from them. 

Side note/ sneak peek for next post: Asking God to teach you kindness/patience/whatever DOESN'T work. You are still trying in you own strength to be what you cannot be- perfect. Instead, ask God to fill you up with his patience/kindness/whatever- let himself shine through you, and you can accurately reflect God!

Have a wonderful night,

Avery

Be impossibly on fire for God! 

Letting Your Guard Down

To be honest, I am often not as aware of the spiritual world as I should be.

Let't clarify what I mean by spiritual world: the metaphysical battle of angels and demons that occurs out of human sight. 

I'm aware of my sin- I experience it and it's consequences every day. But I don't pay attention to the spiritual world- the one that really matters. My first reaction is to say I don't experience it every day, but maybe that is a warning sign. Maybe I don't recognize what is part of the battle around me. 

That's where the title comes in. 

Imagine you have a castle to defend. Your enemies attack the front gate relentlessly, but you don't back down. Victory is certain, if you just keep the enemy from getting inside the castle. But something is wrong- men in strange armor are attacking from inside the walls! Your men are quickly overpowered and the battle seems completely lost. 

(Don't worry- you won't lose though!)

Letting your guard down is what loses the battle- it's when we assume that we have control. 

If I focus all of my strength on one temptation I have, and fail to pay attention to knew weaknesses creeping in, the devil get's a free foothold. A free way in to whisper lies.

(Not cool)

There are two ways to deal with this information: 

                                1) The way of the Flesh: This means I must aways pay attention to every area, I must never stop to rest because I might believe lies, I must always be fighting, always be casting down my enemy! 

Don't you hear the weariness in this relentless list of "must do's"? Even though I might think I'm actively fighting the devil, really I'm giving him a greater opportunity to creep in by keeping a close-fisted grip on control. 

This leads to the second way. 

                               2)The way of God: God is fighting for me- this doesn't mean I need to stop fighting, but I need to trust that God can handle this. I will be vigilant, not because I must but because I see the value of it! My desire is to please God, to seek after him, and in this act of worship the awareness of the spiritual world is learned. 

Bottom line for this post: 

Give God the control- true worship of him is what truly matters, he will give you what you need.

I have to go make dinner before life group- otherwise this would be longer… anyway, I'm praying for you all this week!

~Avery

Why Does Evil Exist?

We've been learning about this question in Worldview class lately, and this week I've come face to face with people having to deal with this question every day.

To start this post off, I'll begin by saying that I feel things. Even if I am not experiencing someone's emotions, I still feel them. I don't know why, but I do! This week has been a flood of other people's emotions:)

Last night I spent about an hour just asking God why, asking God how he can be good, and yet evil still exists. What I learned in Worldview has been essential to my struggle with this issue, so I thought I would share it with you! (From my perspective:)

Many people use this logic to say there is no God:

-If God was all-powerful, he would not allow evil

-Evil exists

-Therefore, God does not exist.

But this doesn't deal with the real question we are all asking- why do bad things happen to me?
I want to know why I have to have physical pain every time I eat, I want to know why other people can experience such grief that I can hardly stand to think about it.

There are three different types of evil, natural evil- by natural causes, moral evil- from human choice, and maximum evil- against the innocent.

Of those three, what bothers you most? For me, and I assume most people, it is maximum evil. It isn't fair for first graders to be murdered, it isn't right that they don't have a chance to live. Us humans think that we are innocent.

But we are not.

God gave us a free will when he created us, or we would just be his puppets! He didn't want a bunch of children who had to follow him, but people who chose him! God gave Adam and Eve the command not to eat of the fruit- but they ate it. In their sin, humankind fell.

We are all sinners. We are all guilty.

But we have a Saviour. God looked with sorrow at his people, and made a way for the evil choice to be redeemed.

God promises that he will come again. He promises that he will destroy evil! We have to wait here- but we aren't alone. The Christian God, our God, is the only one who suffers with his people. You are not alone in your sufferings, God's heart is breaking with yours, he is weeping with you. To him, all these thousands of years are just a moment, because he is outside of time. God hasn't obliterated evil yet, but he will.

So the answer to the why question?

Evil is evidence of the fallen world, and our knowledge that there should be something different shows that we are longing for our eternal home: heaven. God knows our sufferings and feels them with us, he cares. 

~Avery

When Praise is Forgotten

I think something I forget too often is Praise.

Take a moment and really think about what it means to praise.

Praise means to express one's respect and or gratitude. Think about this: how often do you turn around and thank God for his gifts? I don't know about you, but my answer would be a cringe-worthy "I forget". One of the devotional books I'm reading talked about this. It simply reminded its reader to remember. If you are a forgetful person like me- this seems kind of like a death sentence. My initial thoughts were "I can't even remember to do my laundry every week- how am I going to remember to thank God- to truly take the time and actually praise him?" but then this sad realization came to me:

Is God really that unimportant in my life that I forget about him?

When did I let that happen?

Do you ever feel like you know all the right things to do- but you never get to the actual doing?
It frustrates me that I can be in such slavery to sin, and yet be so forgiven! I don't understand why God continues to shower me with his love when I keep forgetting! The key is there can be no fine line, no balance.

I can be whole-heartedly for God, or lukewarm and stagnant in my faith.

I don't want to have God be a 'forget' kind of thing in my life. I want him to be a 'can't let go' part!
But to do that I have to change my attitude from assuming I deserve the gifts I've been given to an attitude of humble, grateful awe that God would choose me to love. At this point, if I were reading this I would assume the writer would now end the post. But that would be a depressing ending, there is no way I'm going to make that happen! I can't force myself to praise- it wouldn't be praise! I have to come to the understanding that there is nothing I am doing that brings me God's love. He is the one that can and will do it. I need to just be willing to ask for help. Right now I'm asking that He would give me a heart full of wanting to praise him, because if God gives me the desire, it will truly be praise that glorifies him.

A line in one of the songs we sang this morning talked about how God is drawing close to him the cynic and the proud.

That means me. I praise him that he wants me. What love he has that he would pour out gifts to people who forget him. He wants the prideful, selfish, haughty, jealous, angry, sad, scared, stressed-out person,. Not because they can do anything for Him, but because He LOVES them. He wants you, turn around and let him pursue you!

Praying for us all this week!
~Avery

Runningrunningrunning

Can I just say I love running? 

That's all that really needs to be said here, honestly.

I ran my first 5k (3.1 miles if you're wondering) this morning, and it was everything I thought it would be! I ran in the Annual Run Against Slavery- a fundraiser for K-state Freedom Alliance (a non-profit organization that raises awareness of human trafficking). 

Sign up at 7:30... I really just wanted to run, but we had to wait for other people to show up... 

Putting on our numbers

Yay! So excited! (I couldn't keep my feet still)

warm up until the race begins at about 8:00.

24:00 minutes later...

Finished!

It wasn't too hot, so at least I (emphasis on I) wasn't that sweaty:)

posing with the sign... 

Yay! Prize money! I made $10...

Dad and I both got second place in women's and men's divisions. It was super fun to get to talk to Dad the whole way, and have fun laughing at each other while we tried to navigate the twisty path! 

(Also, Mom and Deborah were awesome cheerleaders, Deborah did some of her homework outside her building for the morning, just so she could cheer for us for the 30 seconds we were in sight! Mom was gracious enough to come and watch us too:) 

Just saying, I cannot wait until my next race!

  

   ~Avery